Claire

Clara does every annoying internet thing a human can do!

When Facebook started doing games, I was receiving notifications literally every single day from Clara inviting me to Farmville or Castle Ville or whatever the fuck. Then she moved on to the modern pyramid schemes.

I received hundreds of notifications from her trying to sell diet supplements, leggings, smoothies, powders, pills, clothes. Oh my god, why do people fall for this shit? One time she posted a picture of herself drinking a milkshake holding up a little powder packet suggesting that something about this powder, if consumed prior to drinking a milkshake, could somehow negate the caloric and sugar intake of a milkshake?

She ALMOST got me once with an offer to teach me Piano in 21 Days – but then she posted a picture of herself playing and she sounded like absolute shit.